He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
