ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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