I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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