You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
