i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
