If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
