Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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