wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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