thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This baby is an asshole
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
