A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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