Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize