Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
