i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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