Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
