I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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