OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
