hotel room ftw
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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