I cannot find my penis.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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