I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
