Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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