im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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