We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
