i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
