i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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