Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
