and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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