Non-Jews are for practice
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Found your dick twin last night
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
