thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
