You smell like a Billy Joel song
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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