Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
