On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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