I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
