Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
