I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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