So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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