girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize