Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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