Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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