So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i dont even know how to be here
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
