Duck Duck Cougar?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
