Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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