Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
