covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
