there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
