STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize