Where is the hickey?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
