butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
