i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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