Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize