Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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