Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
