"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
