I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
