"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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