She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
