Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
