Just mADE A PArabola og urine
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She has the best kind of daddy issues
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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