I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
