So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
These tits shall not be calmed
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
