Your face is a jimmy john
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
