Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
