So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
